SEX! Now that I have Your Attention

As I mentioned in my previous post, “Do You Remember?”, September is the month when we recognize Sexual Health. A bi-product of mental health, sexual health can influence the way we perceive our sexual self-esteem, -confidence, and -image. External influences such as social media, porn, and hate can warp our sense of sexuality and how comfortable we are in our skin.

The World Health Organization defines Sexual Health as such:

“Sexual health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality. It requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.”

https://www.who.int/topics/sexual_health/en/

Sexual Health is feeling safe during sexual activities, being comfortable in your skin, and knowing that you will not be discriminated against or forced into any sexual activities. Unfortunately, at least in America, sexual health is not spoken about as often as it should be. The only thing that is taught in schools (at a young age, I might add) is puberty, reproductions systems, and sexually transmitted infections [STIs, formerly known as sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)]. As for the effects of sexual health on the mind, that is not spoken about AT ALL.

Recently, sexuality has been put in the spotlight because of sex changes, sexual orientation, and Caitlyn Jenner (born William Jenner). There has been more information and education presented to the public about what it means to be sexually healthy (and mentally healthy). This is a good thing, but we still have a long way to go due to people’s prejudices towards transgenders and hateful attitudes towards the LGBTQ+ community. In my opinion, if a couple loves each other, then that should be the end of the conversation, regardless of what they decide to identify as. Period.

Anyway, straying away from my rant…sexual health has also been royally f*ucked (excuse my language) because of the porn industry. Since the dawn of time, porn has portrayed men as the superior sex and females as inferior. This has a lot to do with dominant and submissive personalities and desires, but for the most part, porn treats men like kings. For young adults navigating through their sexual experiences, porn is the first “educator” they go to for advice.

Sex and such activities should be formed from the bond of love, kindness, trust, and comfortability. It is not meant to be the objectification of a person in any way and should be respected as one of the most vulnerable times in someone’s life. If it is not respected, people can get hurt, develop a mental health issue, and could lose their identity (be it their sexual orientation or personality). Treat people with the same respect that you would like to be treated with–follow the Golden Rule.

Last, but not least, keep a watchful eye on social media. We are exposed to SO much when we look at Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, and other social media platforms. Whether we like it or not, our subconscious is absorbing ALL of this information that we look at and storing it. Subconsciously stored information speaks to us through our doubts, fears, and insecurities. It is that voice in the back of our head that says “I am too fat/skinny/scrawny/muscular.” It is that voice that says “I am not beautiful/handsome nor able to be loved.” It is a harsh voice that we all have, but it is a voice that can teach us self-love and help us have positive self-esteem.

Sexual health is mental health and mental health is your health. External factors play a massive role in how we see ourselves and others, and how we view our sexual mentality. It is daunting to think that we could never be loved or ever look like “that person,” but it is also comforting to know that NO ONE can be you. You are the most perfect and unique self. Not a single soul can be you and you are the best you that there is. So try and calm your mind and take a break from social media, your health and happiness depend on it.

Self-Loving,

E.

#sexualhealth #mentalhealth #self-love #porn #pornindustry #LGBTQ+ #GoldenRule #socialmedia #WorldHealthOrganization #WHO #CaitlynJenner

Do You Remember?

It is September 1, 2020, and the clouds are rolling, rain still falls, and the air is still filled with COVID-19. A crazy year, indeed, but we still have a long way to go before 2020 ends. If you have been pushing off a side project of yours, then THIS is the time to lay the groundwork and actually DO the work. You can keep saying “tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow,” but who is that hurting in the end? You got this! I believe in you!

September is a month where new beginnings meet ambition and determination. It is also a month of recognizing Hispanic Heritage Month, Sexual Health, Self-Improvement (woop, woop!) National Suicide Prevention, and much more. If you want to check out what September holds, check out https://nationaltoday.com/ to keep up to date with cultural calendar events. Most importantly, September is going to be the month where you decide to improve your life. Yup, life coaching time!

I want you to write down your goals and next to them write down what you think you have to do to accomplish those goals. If you have no idea where to start that is okay, because you already started by putting your goals on paper. Congratulations, you are on your way! The trick, now, is to keep that same energy and waste no time. You have such a finite amount of time in your life, do not squander it by giving yourself excuses. (Tough love!)

Time has a tendency to fly by, or should I say drive-by (hehe, COVID jokes), and can slip through our fingers in the blink of an eye. The earlier you start your new goals, the better. You want to start creating new trails in your mind that you can revisit and help you reach your goal. Start making a habit of making things a habit (read that again slowly), it only takes 21 days. If you want to create a lifestyle from your habit, then that takes about 90 days, but it is worth it! If you enjoy your new endeavor, then 90 days will be here before you know it.

2020 has been an unanticipated blessing in disguise for a myriad of reasons. This will be the year that goes down in history as “The Year We Didn’t Know We Needed.” Let the month of September be that stepping stone you so wish you had in January. Consciously act on creating a new habit, and make yourself accountable for continuing that habit. If you need help, phone a friend. If you have no friends, then set a reminder or visit my blog every day *wink*. I want you to be your best self this month because you are amazing and deserve so much more!

Pro Tip: Try to avoid all of the September songs (like “September” by Earth, Wind, & Fire or Green Day’s “Wake Me Up When September Ends”), you will hear them a lot this month, trust me. I am a fan of “September Song” by JP Cooper, though, it just has a very uplifting vibe to it, haha.

Motivated,

E.

#September #motivation #habits #lifestyle #goals #self-improvement #HispanicHeritageMonth #SexualHealthMonth #Self-ImprovementMonth #NationalSuicidePreventionMonth #EarthWind&Fire #GreenDay #JPCooper

Ugh, Monday Anticipation…

It is the day after Sunday and we all know what that means! It is Monday! The start of a new week, discoveries, and life experiences! Some people are not a fan of Monday because it reminds them about dread, gloom, and well, the start of a long week. Understandable, but have you ever questioned why doom and gloom shine brightest on Monday? Well, for starters you have: preconceived negative thoughts, stresses, and anticipations that have not happened yet (or at all). Especially with what is going on in today’s world *coughs* COVID *coughs*, people never know what will happen for the week ahead. (No, I am not coughing because I have COVID, thank goodness).

Monday! Monday! Monday! You have heard it in the commercials and you have especially heard it while you were sitting on your couch watching the Video Music Awards (VMAs) last night. “Ugh, here comes Monday. Why does Monday have to come so fast? I cannot wait to see what this week has in store for me.” Mondays remind our minds to start anticipating what will occur for the next seven days. Our jobs, life, projects, events, and so on. Anticipation can cause anxiety, stress, and force panic attacks or blackouts because of overwhelming emotions or thoughts.

What is anticipation, though? In my own words, it is the thinking of scenarios in your mind that have happened, can happen, and may (or may never) happen.

Have happened: Situations in your life have happened and you expect them to repeat. This causes anxiety because maybe a situation made you uncomfortable or overwhelmed, so you wait for it to happen again. You can prepare yourself for these scenarios by acting them out in your mind, and pretending what you WOULD do (not actually do) if the situation happened. [Defined by past experiences].

May (or may never) happen: These are probably the most annoying, difficult, and self-inflicting thoughts that nervous and anxious people deal with. To reiterate, these are possible situations that may or may not ever happen in your lifetime, even if you fixate on them for hours. [Defined by present feelings/thoughts].

Can happen: These are scenarios/experiences that you expect will happen either because of past incidences or anxiety-driven thoughts formed by your own fears, insecurities, or doubts. These are “if” situations, and they are a BIG “IF” most of the time–they are only our fears and we must learn to calm them down. “It is all in your head,” as people say. These scenarios usually occur when we expect a situation to happen because of events leading up to it. Also known as anticipation (surprise!). [Defined by possible future outcomes].

The reason we anticipate experiences is due to our survival instincts. We fear something (usually something new) and we prepare for it. A natural and necessary reaction for the human race to survive (yayyy!). We simply have an innate fear of the unknown, because that sh*t is terrifying! Imagine looking into a black abyss of NOTHING…gives me the chills just thinking about it…

Anticipation is a self-driven feeling that stems from our doubts, fears, and insecurities. We write our own play and put on our own drama, for good and not so good reasons. It is natural to prepare for the unknown because again, black abyss…scary…chills. Despite all of these “if” experiences, anticipation is vital for our survival and can mentally prepare ourselves for the week ahead. For this week, try to release some stress by giving yourself an “anticipation break” and clear your mind. You deserve it.

Clear-Minded,

E.

#Monday #anticipation #possibilities #anxiety #stress #panicattack #IF #prepare #survival #break #VideoMusicAwards #VMAs

Video Games & Commitment

Alright, so before I start this post I want to iterate that this is only an opinion, and is by no means scientifically accurate information. It is just a thought I was thinking, haha.

There is a multitude of ways video games can ruin relationships. They take attention away from your significant other and create dissonance in the relationship. While video games are a good way to turn off your brain, and even build a romantic relationship, they are also distracting and time-consuming. What used to be a means of ignoring reality has now become the reality itself.

Video games have always impacted somebody’s commitment to a relationship. We see it happen all the time: the girlfriend wants to go out to eat, the boyfriend says he will pick her up, video games get involved, and now the boyfriend is an hour late to his own date. Although fun, video games are time-eaters and can alter time in our own reality, causing three hours to feel like one.

Now imagine a more positive scenario: boyfriend and girlfriend are a happy couple and love to play video games together. There is one catch, however, the boyfriend keeps buying new games to play (and this annoys the girlfriend). To the girlfriend, this shows that the boyfriend cannot commit to one game, and this irritates her because she is interested in the video game storyline. Seeing his lack of commitment, the girlfriend leaves the boyfriend because playing video games was a crucial part of their relationship. (Silly to think, but this does happen in some relationships).

But wait! Let us take a deeper look at that previous scenario. The girlfriend broke up with her boyfriend because of his lack of commitment to a video game. Imagine how the girlfriend feels about the commitment to the relationship! “If my boyfriend cannot even commit to one video game, maybe he cannot commit to me?” It is clear that the boyfriend has some type of commitment issues, but how does wanting to play a different, new video game impair a relationship?

I will tell you how! The boyfriend cannot commit! Think about it, video games have been directed to boys/men since the dawn of video games. The marketing teams for any video game (up until this century) have always put an emphasis on what the new game, trend, and story will be next. This means that all of the “new, new, new” marketing that has been created specifically for boys/men have seeped into their subconscious mind. This formulates a style of thinking in men that translates to “I want the next best thing, even if I already have something good.” They want what is new whether it is good or bad. (If the new game turns out to be bad, then they go right back to the old video game. Sound familiar?)

GASP! So men have been unfaithful to video games just as much as they have been towards their girlfriend?! (We all knew that…haha). Yes and no. Obviously, there are decent men out there, but for the most part, you do see this thinking pattern of “what is next?” or “what is the next best thing?” with men. They are never truly happy with what they already have because they are insecure within themselves. A man could be playing the most perfect video game, but the moment a new game is released, he buys it faster than he can save his progress on the old, “perfect” game.

Video games are a great way to relax, create memorable moments, and form meaningful relationships with the people you love and complete strangers. They are great time consumers but also great time-takers, and can affect relationships in our lives. Subconsciously, video games can have a plethora of effects on our minds, and alter the reality we live in. Play safe, play smart, and for the love of goodness, appreciate your significant other (and the video games you already have, hehe).

Committed,

E.

#videogames #commitment #relationships #thinkingpattern #insecurities #happiness

Instagram @ brightdaycompany

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

–Viktor Frankl

It can be difficult at times to not allow others to affect the way we behave. It can be difficult at times to bite our tongue and let bygones be bygones. It can be difficult to remove yourself from a situation that is very much affecting you.

It can be difficult…but not impossible.

We are human at the end of the day, and emotions can play a large role in why we feel a certain emotion and when. I am positive that there have been instances in your life when someone upset you, and you just outright blew up at them. This happens to the best of us because sometimes we simply cannot control an emotional response to an emotional situation.

Such is the case when it comes to dating, family, friends, coworkers, and other humans you encounter during your life. They manage to find your “buttons” and “press them” for the sake of humor, curiosity, or to annoy you on purpose. Either way, the main root of all of these personal emotions are external factors.

So why do we not just keep those external factors what they are? Why let them bother us? Easier said than done. To remain calm, we must remember two words: perspective and patience.

Perspective is helpful for understanding where that other person is coming from; it is putting yourself in another person’s shoes. It explains the “why” and “how” the irritation is being performed, and what other ulterior motives that person may have. Perspective not only allows us to fully understand why the other person is doing something but can also give our minds a rational reason to calm down.

Patience is just as important as perspective, being that it allows our minds to seek the truth, and maintain clarity. Without clarity, we would be a hot mess every time someone did something that upset us. Remembering to remain patient can save a lot of headaches, aggravations, and misunderstandings. Being too patient, however, can be a sign of nonchalance to some, so try and be patient but quick.

Again, it is difficult to remain calm when someone is outright irritating you in some way, shape, or form. Instead of focusing on why the person is irritating you, focus on yourself, and why you think this irritation is affecting you. Put the attention onto you, this way you can understand yourself better and realize your triggers. This is called self-reflection or self-awareness and is necessary for personal growth and maturity. How can we judge others when we have not judged ourselves?

External forces will always have an impact on the way we behave, so it is important to remind yourself to be patient and have some perspective. People are dealing with a life you may not know about. They are living just as much as you are and can have bad days (or even lives). Before you go reprimanding the person who annoyed you, take a step back, reflect, and ask yourself, “Why is this person doing this? Do they know what they are doing? Why am I having a strong emotional response to this?” Asking questions is always the best way to get a definitive answer, and if it does not work, then at least you can you tried.

Pondering,

E.

Thank you to @brightdaycompany for the inspiration!

#perspective #patience #emotionalresponse #emotions #self-reflection #self-awareness #mentalhealth #wellbeing #brightdaycompany #ViktorFrankl

Pro– Procrasti– I’ll finish it later

Procrastination. Even typing the word gives me chills. It is a sneaky, scary, and surprising concept that is terrifying to students and more terrifying to adults. Why is it, however, that procrastination has such deep roots on what NOT to do? Has there ever been something positive to come about from procrastination? Is it all that bad?

Procrastination can be (and is) the devil. Nahhh, haha, procrastination is just a way our mind protects itself. It usually stems from low self-esteem/self-confidence, doubts, and fear of failure. This happens with everyone and it is natural. What is interesting, however, is why we only see procrastination in the negative limelight. Why do this when procrastination can be a benefit just as much as it is a detriment to our life?

One reason we view procrastination as a negative trait is because of our childhood. We are taught at a very young age about deadlines, timelines, and time management. It is ingrained in us that we should do things the moment they need to be done, or something bad will happen. As we grow older, though, we start to realize that procrastinating is not all that bad. It can still have negative affects on us, do not get me wrong, but we can allot ourselves a little more time to finish a task than when we were kids.

In Adam Grant’s Ted Talk, The Surprising Habits of Original Thinkers, procrastination is more than an escape from our insecurities. Grant says, “Procrastination give you time to consider divergent ideas, to think in nonlinear ways, to make unexpected leaps.” It allows our brain to go off the rails and let us see the new scenery. It lets our brain travel to new areas, procrastination areas, that spark creativity, imagination, and originality. Grants also speaks about how procrastination is a vice for productivity, but a virtue for creativity.

“You call it procrastination, I call it thinking,” said Aaron Sorkin (an American screenwriter). If we allow our brain to “think” (or “marinate”) about an idea in our heads, then we may see new and improved outcomes. We may discover an idea that is better, a concept that needs another look, or something completely different. Even if no new idea magically pops into your mind, at least some pressure is relieved from the deadline.

Procrastination sucks. Plain and simple. But it does not have to suck. If you find yourself getting stuck on something, it is okay to take a break from it. It is okay to pause and start again in an hour, a day, or even longer. You need to allow creativity to flow through your mind, and finish what you started. Procrastination…gosh… Procrastination is the reason why I have had to type this blog post seven times today, haha! Now go get ’em!

Semi-Procrastinating,

E.

#procrastination #time #timemanagement #creativity #AdamGrant #AaronSorkin

A Poem by Happiness

Unexplainable and indescribable,

Wonderment to be able.

Able to laugh, cry, and feel free,

A feeling of joy overwhelms me.

Me, myself, and I,

But without the world, I die.

Die from the sorrow, pain, and hurt,

A feeling that can retort.

Retort to my mind, in kind,

To remind me to be fine.

Fine in a way that works for me,

That feeling of happiness, comfort, and glee.

Glee is to sad, as sad can be me,

But if I worry too much, it tends to flee.

Flee like a fly that never knew why,

Why us humans passed it by.

By the way, it is simple,

All you need…

Is two dimples.

Smiling,

E.

#poem #poetry #happiness #smiling #sadness #mentalhealth #wellbeing #turnthatfrownupsidedown

COVID-19 & Hidden Negativity

It is no secret the misery that was brought along with the Coronavirus, AKA COVID-19. Thousands upon thousands of innocent people dying every day, along with ridiculous news stories and a shift in societal differences. With all of this negative influence surrounding us every second of every day, it is no wonder why people are starting to “not feel like themselves.” It makes sense, though, because how COULD you be yourself with all this negative energy surrounding you. How COULD you be yourself when the environment that you were so used to…is gone?

COVID-19 has been called many names: Coronavirus, The Virus, COVID, ‘Rona, etc., but a name that was never stressed was “negative” This was surprising to me because COVID-19 was not just flashy names, uncertainty, and heartache. Yes, COVID-19 brought about a positive societal shift (social equality), exposure of political parties (terrible leadership), and a discovery about the treatment of employees (unacceptable working conditions). Moreso, however, COVID-19 brought about a constant bombardment of negativity to our environment, life, and mind.

A constant flow of sad, depressing, upsetting, and just flat out tiring negative influences. Day in…and day out… So if you feel like you have not been yourself lately, there is no need to worry (too much).

It is important to remember that as humans, we are greatly influenced by everything around us. The smell of coffee, advertisements on social media, others’ choice of words, and even our own thoughts. There are internal influences (i.e. thoughts and judgments) and external influences (i.e. the world around us), and it is the external influences that deserve our special attention. The reason we want to focus on external influences is because they compose a good majority of how we feel throughout the day. We are very impressionable by external influences—this simply means that we have a brain that takes in a lot of information.

Information is soaked-in while we live our life, so much so that we can dream about subconscious disturbances that are not apparent to us. (Fun fact, we can only dream about people that we have actually seen in our lifetime). When we are presented with an advertisement, for example, we are not JUST looking at the advertisement. Our conscious mind is gathering the basic information about the ad—the colors, the verbiage, the pictures, the overall appeal, etc. Our conscious mind does that, but our subconscious mind gathers a more impressive amount of “data.” (Fun fact #2, our brain produces electricity).

When we see anything in our lifetime, our subconscious mind acts like a toxic personality trait and “runs with it.” Meaning, our subconscious mind is using and elevating all the information that the conscious mind understands. Our subconscious mind takes us to the “next level.” Subconsciously, we are receiving how the ad makes us feel, what it reminds us of, any triggers we may have, and so, so, SO much more. Why? Because our brains are the most incredible piece of “machinery” on the planet.

Our brains are the fastest living computer on Earth. It is not the smartest (per se) but it definitely is the fastest, which means that our brains are computing information that we do and do not think about. Our subconscious mind analyzes everything imaginable, then tries to relay any discovered messages to our conscious mind. This helps us mature, gain wisdom and knowledge, and helps us gain enlightenment/peace in our life.

“Why do we care about how our brain works?” Well, if you think about ALL of the influences around you and the process of our brain, then we can defend our mind when it comes to negativity. We can say, “the news is not really helping out my mental health today, let me turn it off,” or “wow, all of these Instagram models look so perfect, but I should not let them affect my self-esteem.” By acknowledging the influences around us, and actively staying conscious to our own life, we can take care of our mind much better than we did yesterday.

Think about it, how do you feel when you watch Trump speak? (I am not taking a side, just using it as an example). How do you feel when you eat one thing as opposed to another? How do you feel when you see constant advertisements for “Sarah’s Discovery” (weight loss program) and how does it effect your self-image? “How?” and “Why?” have always been great questions to ask yourself when something might not be feeling “normal.” That feeling of “not normal” is our subconscious (and maybe even our conscious) mind trying to tell us something. It is that “gut feeling” you get when something is not quite right.

Internal and external influences will never change, but what can change is the way we perceive them. What can change is our ability to acknowledge, recognize, and analyze our feelings towards an external influence. What can change is our own strength to reject those influences so that we can have a healthier and happier mind. What can change is us, because even though we may not be the smartest “thing” on the planet, we are the fastest, which tells me that we can learn pretty quickly.

Actively Aware,

E.

#coronavirus #covid-19 #rona #influences #negativity #consciousness #acknowledgement #conscious #subconscious #psychology #philosophy #Trump

Nostalgia & Songs

Have you ever wondered why we like songs from a certain time period? Why we always gravitate towards the “Hits of the [insert decade here]” playlist or a specific genre? There is something familiar about songs we used to listen to when we were younger. There is something comforting, energetic, and mood boosting about enjoying a song we always used to enjoy. There is something nostalgic about it all.

The other day I was working out, and like most people when they exercise I decided to play music to pump me up (it was actually to distract myself from the pain of the workout, haha). I played one of my favorite playlists, “Summer Hits of the 2000s.” I wanted to listen to some songs I could sing along with and that would keep my energy afloat.

The workout has now begun…help me…

While working out, I noticed I was not as tired as I normally was, probably because of the playlist I chose. The playlist kept my mind off from the workout and would shoot me back to memories I had when I was younger. The music kept me out of my external mind (physical pain from the workout) and put focus on my internal mind (my thoughts and memories). I kept singing along to the songs I could recall the lyrics to and would skip the songs I disliked.

Something clicked in my brain.

When I would skip the songs I would ask myself, “Why am I skipping the song?” which would bring about the answers, “I do not like the beat/lyrics/memories it reminds me about.” There it is!–I do not like the memories that the song would remind me about. But…why and…how? Why did I not like the memory and how could a song bring me back to a time I enjoy or did not enjoy?

Similar to how any of our senses (sight, touch, smell, taste, hearing) brings us back to memories we have, songs can have an impact on our memories. I started realizing more connections. When I would hear a song I enjoyed, it usually meant that there was a positive memory associated with it. Same was true for the opposite, songs I disliked meant I had associated negative memories with them.

Something about the way we grew up has an impact on the way our brain perceives music, memories, and much more. Those who grew up listening to Caribbean music would most likely enjoy Caribbean music into their adulthood. Same goes for those who listened to pop, country, R&B, rock, and so on. The genres we grew up enjoying are ingrained into our mind and are posed as “I like” and “I dislike” just as memories are categorized as “good” or “bad.”

I am not saying that all songs have positive and negative memories, but I am saying that we should keep in mind how simple things, such as songs, can make us feel. Keep in mind that nostalgia has a strong affect on the mind, and can alter memories we have for better or worse. Also remember that we must learn to separate the “real” from the “non-real”–the true feelings on how we felt during a certain memory.

Memories are a bit of a grey area because we are not able to recall all of them accurately. This is not anyone’s fault, but simply a “design flaw” in our brains. Our brains remember what is important, but not always what is true. We are usually biased in our memories whether we want to believe it or not. Since nostalgic moments are (allegedly) a happy moment in our life, we will always gravitate towards what seemed to be familiar and comforting.

Nostalgia is tricky in the sense that it can act like a filter for our brain. It has the potential to change memories and make us recall a feeling that was never truly there from the start. In the case of songs, we may have enjoyed the song when we first heard it, but maybe something changed that feeling along our lifetime. Makes you think about what else is a true feeling and what is not, huh?

Cautiously Conscious,

E.

#nostalgia #memories #songs #happiness #music #comforting #familiar #psychology #philosophy

Instagram @ quotedthinkers

Have you ever heard of the expression “the truth will set you free”? It bears (not the animal) a lot of weight considering how daunting the truth can be sometimes. It does make sense, though. The truth does set people free, in fact, some people have been able to live their whole life stress-free and at peace simply because they never lie.

Lying is like the snowball effect–the snowball starts small, but as it progresses downhill it begins to grow larger and larger. Lying does the same thing. The more you lie, the more it will become harder for you to track your lies, know the truth, and remember which lies you said to whom.

The truth is simply the truth. There is no room for opinion and no option for change because the truth is what it is. It is the most honest, pure, and credible statement that can exist. Think about when you have arguments with someone, and once the truth is told how those arguments disappear. Crazy, right? Almost as if the truth set you free! *wink*

Example: Jane asks, “Did you get the car fixed?” You reply “yes” thinking that this white lie will not be detrimental to anyone in the near future. While on her way to pick up her child, Jane finds out that you lied about the car and now has to go to the mechanic. Jane realizes that her child still needs to be picked up from school, so she asks her friend Wilma if she could do her the favor. But Wilma is too late…

Wilma arrives at the school late due to traffic and to her surprise Jane’s child is not there. The school, Jane, and the authorities have now been contacted because Jane’s child was kidnapped. Weeks go by and Jane has been attempting to remain calm, and also try not to physically hurt you (since you lied about the car). Luckily, Jane’s child was found and the kidnapper was arrested. Phew!

Do you see how ONE white lie can have such ramifications on people’s lives, albeit your own and others (ripple effect)? If you had simply said that the car was not fixed, then Wilma could have avoided all of the traffic and picked up Jane’s child sooner, or at least before the kidnapper. Lies can effect everyone around you, even people not involved in the lie (i.e. the kidnapper).

The point I am trying to make is that lying never helps anyone. Yes, you could argue that lying can protect people in certain circumstances (and I would agree), but once the truth is revealed, different opinions, emotions, or experiences may occur. Someone may resent you for not telling the truth from the beginning, or question your credibility and trust. Not to mention the possible emotions and self-judgment that may wander around in your own mind.

Telling the truth is the best way to maintain relationships (due to trust) and to live your life without worry. Truths are able to defend themselves because they are the end-all-be-all; they are pure and do not falter in any way. They are the clearest form of communication and the best way to uphold your own integrity as a person.

“The truth” and “the lie” are perfectly balanced in the sense that one cannot be without the other. I cannot lie if there is no truth, because then I would have nothing to lie about. Does that make sense? Yes? No? Either way you answer, I just hope you did not lie to me, or worse…yourself.

Truthfully,

E.

Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/CDloBnGnBG8/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

@quotedthinkers #tellthetruth #truth #lie #rippleeffect #snowballeffect #psychology #philosophy #consequences