“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
–Viktor Frankl
It can be difficult at times to not allow others to affect the way we behave. It can be difficult at times to bite our tongue and let bygones be bygones. It can be difficult to remove yourself from a situation that is very much affecting you.
It can be difficult…but not impossible.
We are human at the end of the day, and emotions can play a large role in why we feel a certain emotion and when. I am positive that there have been instances in your life when someone upset you, and you just outright blew up at them. This happens to the best of us because sometimes we simply cannot control an emotional response to an emotional situation.
Such is the case when it comes to dating, family, friends, coworkers, and other humans you encounter during your life. They manage to find your “buttons” and “press them” for the sake of humor, curiosity, or to annoy you on purpose. Either way, the main root of all of these personal emotions are external factors.
So why do we not just keep those external factors what they are? Why let them bother us? Easier said than done. To remain calm, we must remember two words: perspective and patience.
Perspective is helpful for understanding where that other person is coming from; it is putting yourself in another person’s shoes. It explains the “why” and “how” the irritation is being performed, and what other ulterior motives that person may have. Perspective not only allows us to fully understand why the other person is doing something but can also give our minds a rational reason to calm down.
Patience is just as important as perspective, being that it allows our minds to seek the truth, and maintain clarity. Without clarity, we would be a hot mess every time someone did something that upset us. Remembering to remain patient can save a lot of headaches, aggravations, and misunderstandings. Being too patient, however, can be a sign of nonchalance to some, so try and be patient but quick.
Again, it is difficult to remain calm when someone is outright irritating you in some way, shape, or form. Instead of focusing on why the person is irritating you, focus on yourself, and why you think this irritation is affecting you. Put the attention onto you, this way you can understand yourself better and realize your triggers. This is called self-reflection or self-awareness and is necessary for personal growth and maturity. How can we judge others when we have not judged ourselves?
External forces will always have an impact on the way we behave, so it is important to remind yourself to be patient and have some perspective. People are dealing with a life you may not know about. They are living just as much as you are and can have bad days (or even lives). Before you go reprimanding the person who annoyed you, take a step back, reflect, and ask yourself, “Why is this person doing this? Do they know what they are doing? Why am I having a strong emotional response to this?” Asking questions is always the best way to get a definitive answer, and if it does not work, then at least you can you tried.
Pondering,
E.
Thank you to @brightdaycompany for the inspiration!
#perspective #patience #emotionalresponse #emotions #self-reflection #self-awareness #mentalhealth #wellbeing #brightdaycompany #ViktorFrankl
thEEsmilE 